Managing client relationships in the law can be incredibly challenging. Sometimes the legal work itself is not particularly complex, but a difficult client dynamic cultivates an environment of stress and overwhelm in its own right. Worse still, you might have the trifecta of troubled waters – your own difficult client, adversarial interactions with the unrelenting ‘other side’, and a complex set of facts to navigate. Let’s not forget you also probably have a cohort of equally difficult matters across your desk. It can be overwhelming, and perhaps prompts you to question what you’re doing wrong. In reality, there’s a complicated mix of explanatory factors and it may not be that you’re doing anything wrong, per se. It’s important to consider what could go right if you only had the recipe.
The ingredients
First, let’s acknowledge that you and your difficult client are the staple ingredients – occasionally garnished by others. And while the same at their core, there are difficult client varietals that warrant attention and can help you develop the right approach:
- The one who dines and attempts to dash
This is the client who wants you to do the work yesterday, but doesn’t want to pay for it. They might not value or understand the legal skill, knowledge, and time involved. They don’t want to put funds into your firm’s trust account no matter how many times they’re asked. In theory, your firm’s “tools down” policy for this scenario seems straightforward. But, the partner steps in to solve the problem and keep the billable hours ticking. The client finally makes a deposit so the work is back on … this time, on an even tighter deadline. So, you urgently draft court material tonight and dread finding a barrister to appear at short notice. This type of client throws your professional relationships into the fire and doesn’t think twice about it.
- The one who wants to go ‘off-menu’
You’re the professional. You possess the knowledge, skills, and expertise required to make a meal out of your client’s opposition. But, this client doesn’t seem to care about that. Perhaps the advice on offer isn’t what they wanted to hear, so they decide you must be wrong and they want to go ‘off-book’. Maybe their friend’s cousin twice removed, who is not a lawyer, gave them advice contrary to yours. Or they’ve done their own research. They’re the know-it-all client who orders the ‘Chef’s choice’, claims it was a disappointing degustation, and demands something else.
- The one who loses it in the kitchen
This client may have difficulties regulating their own emotions, and they’re quick to throw blame in your direction. They may have well created the predicament. And despite having done your utmost to present the case in the best possible light, whatever they’re unhappy about is somehow still your fault. After losing all sense of polite communication and accountability, this client barks like a head chef, dirties all the plates, and refuses to wash up.
- The one who messes up the instructions
There’s a few, actually. There’s the non-committal client who does everything to avoid actually giving instructions. There’s the ‘head in a cloud of fairy floss’ client who gives instructions at the eleventh hour with no consideration for what’s then required to meet the next day’s deadline. And there’s the client who expects efficiency but sends three years’ worth of bank statements to you in individual screenshots across multiple emails. Yikes! Double face palm!
- The backseat chef
The over-involved client struggles to release control and wants to micromanage everything. They may send you a barrage of documents, which you meticulously sift through, finding nothing useful. They’re the overbearing distraction undermining your competency that begs the question, “Who’s acting for whom, here?!”
- The one in the private dining room
This client is nice as pie to you and anyone else with a VIP title. To reception and other support staff, they’re dismissive, unappreciative, and sometimes even outright rude. They’re the Jekyll and Hyde client that leaves you feeling guilty when you need help from Admin.
- The one who thinks they’re it and a bit
This client either thinks they’re dining alone or that, surrounded by plebs, they belong at the head of the most prestigious table in the house. They simply don’t accept that you can’t take their call or respond immediately to their email marked ‘URGENT’ (which, of course, is never actually urgent). And what they want to talk about isn’t always strictly on the menu under legal advice, either.
Now that you’re familiar with the common ingredients, you might be tempted to throw them out and start fresh. While at the extreme end of the scale, ceasing to act for a particular client may well be the only appropriate course of action. However, it’s not feasible to end every client relationship that proves trying. Nor is it most often necessary. With the right approach, you can appropriately prepare, respond to, and effectively manage any difficult client.
The method
Each lawyer’s approach may differ in nuance and style. But, the basic method applies across the board.
- Identify the red flags early
Clients will rarely show up beaming with happiness and soaring spirits. They might be highly anxious, stressed, worried or angry. Their affect might be situational to the legal issues they face, or they may have personal challenges exacerbated by the current matter. There’s usually some tell-tale signs that the understandably stressed client may morph into the truly difficult one. You just have to be vigilant.
It’s in everyone’s best interest for you to really know and understand your client. Ask questions to ascertain their history, expectations, and capacity to do their part in the lawyer-client relationship. Are you their second or third lawyer for the same matter? If so, why didn’t it work out with the others? Does the client show signs of dysfunction in their interpersonal relationships or their employment? What is their communication style like with you, and with your support staff? What kind of information have they provided to you before the initial appointment? How long does the initial phone call or appointment go for and how productive is it? What kind of questions are they asking about fees? Are they able to provide clear and cogent instructions and answer your clarifying questions? Are they defensive, argumentative, sarcastic, dismissive, aloof, or abrasive in conference? Or are they respectful, attentive, and asking appropriate solution-focused questions?
It may feel daunting at first. But asking the right questions will help you determine if you’re on the same page or looking at totally different recipes.
- Draw clear boundaries
Setting and maintaining boundaries is a series of actions, not reactions. It can be really uncomfortable. But you need to move boldly through the discomfort to draw the requisite lines. Without them, client management can be disastrous for the work, the relationship, and the wellbeing of both of you.
Consistency is crucial – from you and anyone else on your team who’ll interact with your client. Don’t let an off-topic word in the team playbook undermine you. Present a united front and model the behaviours you expect your team to exhibit. Because as innocent as something like answering emails or returning calls after hours may seem, it sets a precedent for what your client will expect every time from you and everyone else. Set reasonable parameters for every interaction and stick to them. And don’t feel you have to simply acquiesce to every client request – take some time to consider its impacts and know that it’s ok, often appropriate, to say no.
- Think beyond the books: Managing communication and people
Don’t fret if these kinds of soft(er) skills don’t come naturally. They weren’t taught at law school. Communicating politely, professionally, and with integrity is a skill that’s developed and honed over time. If ‘boundaries’ are new to your vocabulary, then practice makes perfect. And don’t overlook the value of seeking support from a trusted mentor or specialist professional, especially if you find this part particularly challenging or unpleasant.
To serve
Developing rapport, trust, respect, kindness, effective communication, and compassion with clients isn’t just a pipe dream. They require reciprocity and mutuality, but they are possible.
Clients come to us in varying emotional states – they are arguably just doing the best they can with the skills they have and in the context of the challenging events they’re facing. In many respects, so are you. And don’t expect to know it all nor demonstratively change a client’s behaviour – you’re a lawyer, not a psychologist. Focus on expanding your skillset. Awareness, emotional intelligence, insight, and the capacity to identify your own role and responsibilities can be learned. And with the right ingredients, method, and serving suggestions in the mix, you’ll identify troublesome behaviours and start proactively managing your way to better client relationships.
